Posted on January 16, 2018 by Robert M Olian

The amateur horologists among you will recall that all of the calendar months are named after fabric fresheners (February - Febreze), gods (March - Mars, April - Aphrodite, May - Maia, June - Juno), emperors (July - Julius, August - Augustus), or simply their place in the calendar - Sept, Oct., Nov. and Dec. for the seventh, eighth, ninth, and tenth…. Whoa, wait a sec!  (I could explain, but instead that issue is left as an exercise for the reader).

We are interested in January, named for the god of beginnings, Janus, who is always depicted as facing in two directions.  Could one write a blog post about the current state of environmental law based on the theme of a two-faced ruler who thinks he’s one of the gods?

OF COURSE one could! But that would be too easy. Instead, how about a blog post to make everyone happy, while the festive warmth of the holidays is still washing over us? Using the game of MadLibs as our inspiration, first complete the following phrase by choosing either Answer A or Answer B.

“I {insert answer} vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 Presidential election.”

A. did not

B. did

If you picked answer A, read the following blog post using the phrases from option A. If you picked answer B, read the post using the phrases from option B. Make sure you use the correct option, or you will be an unhappy reader instead of a happy reader, and we don’t want that.


The environmental trade press is replete with top ten lists at this time of year —top ten judicial rulings, top ten regulatory decisions, etc. — but the goal here is to step back and look at things from the 50,000-foot level. Here’s the shorter meta list:

1.  EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt installed a Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility (SCIF) costing nearly $25,000 in his personal office (EPA already had another secure room in the headquarters building) and is the only EPA Administrator to ever request a 24/7 security detail. The 18-member security detail cost taxpayers more than $830,000 in Pruitt’s first three months at the helm and required that EPA agents be pulled away from ongoing criminal investigations to staff the security detail. These actions suggest that EPA is being run by someone who is

1A. self-aggrandizing to the point

1B. appropriately conscious


2A. paranoia.

2B. security risks that are increasingly important at a time where environmental issues intersect those of national security.

2. “More than 700 people have left the Environmental Protection Agency since President Trump took office, a wave of departures that puts the administration nearly a quarter of the way toward its goal of shrinking the agency to levels last seen during the Reagan administration,” (NYT, 12/22/17), including a disproportionate number of scientists. The brain drain is intentional according to:

1A. Obama science adviser Thomas Burke

1B. Trump OMB Director Mick Mulvaney

who added,

2A. “The mission of the agency is the protection of public health. Clearly there’s been a departure in the mission.”

2B. “You can’t drain the swamp and leave all the people in it. So, I guess the first place that comes to mind will be the Environmental Protection Agency.”

3. The United States withdrew from the Paris climate accords, a move that was

1A. denounced

2A. praised

by many, ranging from:

2A. the Pope to the head of Goldman Sachs.

2B. Charles Koch to David Koch.

4. The United States was battered by record flooding, hurricanes and forest fires, all of which were

1A. substantial evidence suggesting the existence of

1B. a bizarre coincidence.

2A. anthropogenic climate change.

2B. [Sorry, there is no phrase to describe something whose existence is denied]

But wait, you say, that’s only four items, not a top ten. Sorry, but there are eight; you only read four. If one of you As will add another to the comments, and one of you Bs will do likewise, that will get the total to 10.

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